Apparently, unless you’re exhausted, broke, and miserable, you’re not ambitious enough.

I used to have one of the most stressful occupations in the world. I was in politics. Human-facing. City Council. While I might’ve been considered successful by some and ridiculous by others, it made me miserable. My brain just doesn’t brain under imposed stress and pointless in-fighting.

So I left the scene.

I’m a chill human being, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I like my hobbies and some “me time”. After my little political career, I deliberately built the most peaceful life I could—because that’s what I wanted. My family is devoid of intrigue, my job is as stress-free as they come, and I don’t have kids just yet.

Still, I sometimes wonder: is this calm life a sign of maturity—or just me going soft?

Other times, I wonder if constant stress is a prerequisite for success?

All successful people have an urge, a drive that keeps them going. Whether it’s money, fame, a better life for their families, colonizing Mars or all of the above, something just keeps their motor running. They know that habits accumulate, they know that hard work pays off. Sure, working smart also counts, but it’s the dedication to the cause that really makes a difference.

I might be projecting, but I keep seeing this concept in most entertainment these days. Some even take it up a notch: you have to be single-minded and stressed to become mega successful. You have to kill yourself on the way to stardom, otherwise you’re just not good enough.

Grind, compare, ignore your wins, run faster, rinse and repeat.

Media pushes us to be cutthroat, achieve “greatness” (whatever it means), and do it NOW.

You’re 22, and haven’t built your successful multiple 6 figure internet business yet? You’re a failure!

You sing, but there aren’t fans lining up for autographs or paparazzi lurking behind your house? You should probably quit!

You’ve graduated from Harvard, but haven’t landed an associate position in a prestigious law firm? Shame on you! (BTW, how much is your student loan debt?)

You studied to become a doctor, but decided you didn’t want it and started a YouTube channel? How much time did you waste? Also, you’re a terrible person! Such a sellout! To exchange that virtuous job with what exactly… making ridiculous videos? Gosh!

This judgement goes on and on, if you listen to the media. Even if the judgement isn’t directed at you, you constantly see the message:

“Are you sleep deprived because you work hard? GOOD. You won’t be happy unless you’re successful.”

If I were a tactical droid from Star Wars, I’d say: “Define happy… beep boop… Define successful.”

The beauty of life is that every person can define success and happiness to themselves, and even redefine those concepts in time.

It’s great, isn’t it? The freedom not to take other people’s definitions for granted. It’s liberating—until we start turning those unattainable standards inward. This is where we fall into our own trap, which we refuse to acknowledge.

Sure, dedication and habit can work wonders. Using your full potential and pushing are both traits to admire, but how far is too far?

Take Charles Aznavour—the legendary French-Armenian singer. In a recent biopic, Monsieur Aznavour, we see a man who never stopped honing his craft. He wrote daily, performed until the very end, and famously said, “If I slow down, I die.”

Will you die though? Is it not possible to enjoy what you do with a healthy amount of urgency and without excess drama and still be successful?

I love writing. I’d still write if I didn’t get paid for it, and I’ll probably keep writing all my life.

Was I happy cranking out 8,000 words a day at a content mill when I was just starting out? Nope.

Why did I keep at it for a couple of years? First, bills, of course. But there was another reason: I knew I was putting in the reps that would eventually make me a better writer. I had to get as close to native English as possible to be competitive in the larger market. It was an opportunity.

I used to wake up, set the timer, and write until my fingers fell off, go to bed, rinse and repeat.

Was it fun? No. If I went back in time and had to do it again, I would.

I’m telling you this to illustrate that even your favorite thing can make you miserable, and you should push boundaries when necessary. But you’re free to define your boundaries and limits. Nobody should be able to choose for you. Not the media, not your family, not anyone.

Your life is yours. You’re the executive. Decide if this season calls for a sprint—or a slow dance.

P.S. After a couple of years in my peaceful cocoon, I feel the pull of the outside world again. Maybe it’s time for a new chapter. Let’s see where the wind of change takes me.