Problem & business
Concerned EU is a joke about the current state of the EU: overregulated, anxious and allergic to progress. You file any concern, from AI replacing mathematicians to socks that vanish in the dryer, and the Commission's spokesperson issues a deadpan official press release treating it as an existential threat, complete with directives, task forces and a regulation number.
The best releases go into a moderated public record, each signed by one of 27 fictional Commissioners, one per Member State.
Design
EU blue and gold on paper, set in Source Serif 4 and Source Sans 3. Every release renders as an official Commission document, with a letterhead, a threat-level stamp, a watermark and a signature portrait.
There are four small animations, all dropped under reduced motion: keep the jokes, drop the movement. And yes, the cookie banner can't be killed. It has loyalty tiers.
Engineering
Next.js and Payload CMS on Neon, with Upstash Redis and the AI SDK through Vercel's AI Gateway, so the app holds no provider keys. The releases are written by Grok, which is half the joke.
The system prompt never changes, so the provider's prompt cache always hits; everything that varies (the date, the opener, the signing Commissioner, the regulation number, how far to escalate) goes into a brief the server builds. Only text the server itself generated can reach the public record, because a finished release is held briefly and can be claimed exactly once.
The house style is editable in the CMS, an eval script scores sample releases against fixed thresholds before a prompt change ships, and every release gets its own share image, Greek and Cyrillic included.
Outcome
Every release that gets past moderation lands in the public record, and the College of 27 Commissioners has a page of its own. The cookie banner remains undefeated.
